


Across the Universe

by Dansevise (SamoShampioni)



Category: Bandom, The Beatles
Genre: Beatles - Freeform, Gen, Internet, Parody, Silly, The Beatles - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-03-02
Updated: 2008-03-02
Packaged: 2017-12-07 06:56:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,169
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/745609
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SamoShampioni/pseuds/Dansevise
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Silly Beatles story</p>
            </blockquote>





	Across the Universe

Across the Universe  
The Beatles were sitting in Abbey Road Studios. It had been a while since they had recorded anything, and the four of them were trying their hardest to get some new ideas. But they were coming up with nothing. They were disappointed, it had seemed so easy before. Paul looked around at the other three, just sitting there, staring into space. John Lennon stared at a blank computer screen.  
"And what should we write for our next song?" asked Paul McCartney, getting out a pen.  
And so John went on the internet. He had an idea. Taking something from the internet would clearly be a lot easier than writing a new song yourself.  
"Yeah I'm sick of actually having to come up with ideas too..." said George Harrison, as Ringo Starr banged on the drums in the background, "And can you stop making that racket?!?!"  
"What have you got John?" Paul asked, as John Lennon surfed the internet for some unheard of song that they could rip off and steal from.  
"...Oh my god!" gasped John, "Guys, come and look at this!!!!!"  
The Beatles gathered around the computer screen.  
"What on Earth is this?" asked George.  
"They're making a movie and they're copyrighting all our stuff!" yelled Paul. Across the Universe. Ironic really, they were looking to take some song and found out that their songs were now going to be taken from them. In reality, they had sold off their songs many many years ago, but this was the final straw. The Beatles would get no new money from this movie.  
"Hey!!!" shouted Ringo, "When we're going to take stuff it's cool because we're doing it. WHAT GIVES THEM THE RIGHT TO STEAL OUR STUFF!!!!!"  
And so the Beatles set off to the studio were Across the Universe was being filmed.  
\---  
The three other Beatles were standing around, waiting for John's arrival. They had checked inside the studio already, there was no one there. They could conduct their revenge in peace.  
"Did you get the gasoline?" asked Paul.  
John nodded. They poured the gasoline all around the studio.  
"This is going to be so funny it's unbelievable," laughed Paul, as he took a match from his pocket and dropped it on the gasoline.  
The Beatles laughed as the building went up in flames.  
"Damn John you're a genius!" laughed George, "What's this place called anyway?"  
"It's called 'Abbey Road' or something, you know, after that album we did," replied John, but then he realised, "WE JUST SET FIRE TO OUR OWN STUDIOS!!!!!!"  
"BUT WE FOLLOWED THE MAP!!!!!" shouted Paul, jumping up and down, "IT MUST HAVE SENT US IN A CIRCLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
The four looked at each other in horror.  
"AAAAAHHHH!!!!" and they all shouted and ran around the burning building. And soon the fire alarm went off and soon the fire truck came. The fire truck came down the road, and soon it was putting out the fire with its water hose.  
\---  
"Who gave them permission to film in OUR STUDIO?!" and John slammed his fist on the desk.  
"I don't know," said George, tuning in his guitar, "But when we do find out they're going to get it."  
"No one gave them permission you guys," said Paul, sitting across the other side of the room, "And why do we have to meet up in John's house anyway. It smells of cats."  
"I like cats," said John, and suddenly, the telephone rang.  
Ringo picked up the phone.  
"Who is it?!" asked Ringo.  
"This is Liverpool Fire Department..." said a gruff voice at the other end of the phone, "We want to speak to you regarding the incedent at Abbey Road Studios."  
"Ok..." said Ringo, "We'll be right there," and he hung up the phone.  
"Who was it?" asked George, who had finally tuned his guitar.  
"DAMN IT GUYS IT'S THE FIRE DEPARTMENT!!!!!" yelled Ringo, "I THINK THEY KNOW WE SET FIRE TO THE STUDIO!!"  
"OUR studio," Paul corrected, "And what can they do anyway, WE'RE THE BEATLES. How many other people do you know who are the Beatles?"  
"Yeah," said John, "We can just use our fame to get us out of this like everything else, but just to be on the same side, I'm going to go out and dump all this gasoline somewhere."  
"Yeah, you do that," shrugged Paul, as John rushed outside into the garden. John opened the door of the dusty shed in the corner of the garden, and pulled out the gasoline.  
"Damn it!" yelled John, "These are too heavy to lift!"  
When suddenly, John heard a noise behind him.  
George was driving a fork lift truck.  
"Thought you might need some help lifting those!" laughed George.  
George picked up all the gasoline and depostited it into the truck which was parked in the driveway.  
Then, the four set off to dispose of the gasoline any way they could.  
The four stopped the van at a nearby river. The fish were swimming in circles, frogs nestled on the flowering lily pads, and a beautiful waterfall flowing into the river. Across the sky a rainbow shone against the clear blue background, with fluffy clouds dotted sparingly in the sky.  
"Here looks a good place," said George, and he took the cap of the first tub of gasoline and it flowed slowly into the river.  
"Only 49 more to go!" laughed Paul, leaning against the side of the van.  
The fish tried to swim away from the black goo surrounding them, but it was pointless. Soon, the whole river was encased in the sludge and slime that was the disposed of gasoline. After all of the cases were emptied, they each threw the cases into the river.  
"Shouldn't we be at the Fire Department?" asked Ringo, "Considering they want to see us and all?"  
"Oh yeah," said Paul, "Now I remember!"  
And so the four got back off into the van and drove back down the road. The arrived at the Fire Department a while later, and the Beatles ran into the building.  
"Hey," said John, "Sorry we're late."  
The fireman just looked up at them, and pointed them in the direction of the room they had to go to.  
"We've examined the CCTV," said the Chief Fireman, brandishing his staff, "We know you four did it..."  
The Beatles just sat on the chairs, as the Chief explained how they knew they did it. The Chief shook his fist furiously as he glared at them.  
"I don't know what you think you were doing trying to burn down your own studio, but someone could have been seriously hurt or even killed! I mean, why would anyone in their right mind-"  
Paul stopped him mid-sentence.  
"Look, Fireman Chief," said Paul, "We can't go to jail, I mean, come on, we're the Beatles,"  
"Well you're certainly not above the law!!!!" screamed the Chief Fireman, so loud it could be heard across the building.  
"Look," said John, stepping in, "I didn't think I'd have to do this but..."  
John pulled a million dollars out from his pocket.  
"It's yours.... take it..." And with that John pushed the money towards the chief.  
In that moment, when John handed him the money, the chiefs anger dissapated, and he held the money in his hand, examining it to make sure it was genuine.  
"Oh, that's real alright," said John.  
"Bribery?" asked the chief, "Well.... I... I.... I suppose I could let this one slip. I suppose no major damage was done, except to your own studio... after all..."  
And with that the chief put the money into his pocket.  
"Exactly!" said Paul, smiling, "See how much easier it is to work with us, rather than against us?"  
\---  
And so the Beatles went back into the van and drove home.  
"Wow," said George, "I love being famous."  
The others agreed.  
"We don't even have to drive the car ourselves!" said John, who pressed Auto-Pilot and watched as the car steered itself home. The technology for Auto-Pilot was many years away, unless, of course, you had the money to pay for an early version. But, on arrival to the house, the Beatles recieved some very bad news. The Beatles walked back into the house.  
"Paul," yelled John, "You left the TV on again, you know how much electricity is these days!"  
"Especially since they lost all the electricity in the Container," said Ringo.  
The Container had been a storage system for British electricity. After the Great Energy Crisis of 2010, the Container's electricity had all been used up, and much of it was lost. The government estimated it would take years before the Container would work as well as it used to. But then they saw the words breaking news flash up on the screen, and a picture of the river that they had dumped the gasolin in flash up on the screen.  
"What was once a nice, peaceful river," said the news reporter, "Now turned to a sludgy mess of death. Once more showing the careless thought of individuals who just don't and won't care, and- what on Earth is that?!"  
A giant gooey monster had risen from the river, and it jumped on the news reported, encasing her in a pile of goo.  
"JOHN WHAT THE HELL SORT OF GASOLINE WAS THAT!" yelled Paul, "NOW LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE!"  
"WHAT I'VE DONE?!?!?!" yelled John back.  
"Shut the hell up you two I'm trying to watch TV," said George, as the gooey monster began to accend up the river bank and trapped the camera man also. The screen went blank and the TV lost connection.  
"This is like, the coolest thing ever," said Ringo, getting out some spoons and banging on the TV.  
"RINGO DON'T BANG ON MY TV!" yelled John, and Ringo put the spoons back in the utensils cupboard.  
"This isn't our problem anyway," said Paul, slumping back down on the couch, "That river is miles away from our house."  
Suddenly, the TV switched back on.  
The monster was going towards the Second Container. The Second Container was built after the Great Energy Crisis as a backup store for even more electricity. But, more importantly, it also controlled British access to the internet.  
"Isn't that the container that contains the internet?" asked George.  
"It is indeed," Paul replied.  
"THE INTERNET!!!!" yelled John, jumping up and down, "WITHOUT IT, HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO GET IDEAS!!!!"  
The four looked at each other in horror again, this was truly bad news.  
\---  
The van sped down the road.  
"We can't let it absorb the internet we can't let it absorb the internet," John repeated to himself, as he set the Auto-Pilot to hyperspeed and the car sped off down the road. The Beatles stopped in front of the Second Container.  
"This monster shall not absorb the internet!" yelled John, as the four ran out of the car and towards the container. Camera crews were pitched all around the container, filming the monster climbing up it, trying to break it, and therefore, the internet connection inside.  
"Perfect," Paul thought to himself, "We'll look like heroes in front of all these cameras, even though we're the ones who caused this in the first place!"  
"You brought the sulphur, right?" Ringo asked George. George nodded.  
"Do I ever dissapoint?" asked George, getting some spray guns filled with sulphur from the van. The Beatles rushed off towards the Second Container.  
"HEY GASOLINE MONSTER!" yelled George, as he got his spray gun ready.  
The monster turned towards them, and roared violently. It jumped down from the container, now standing in front of it, as George sprayed sulphur all over the creature.  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" the creature screamed, and the creature slammed itself into the container.  
"NO!!!" yelled John, "NOT BY THE CONTAINER!!!!"  
The sulphur started touching the container. Binary started to get scrambled inside. Portions of the British internet went missing as the sulphur burned the outside of the container. Unexpectedly, it started to affect the worldwide connection to the internet as well. Millions of people from around the world discovered that google was missing. George kicked the monster to get it away from the container, but then-  
"OH CRAP GUYS I'M STUCK!!!!" yelled George, kicking frantically at the gasoline monster.  
"Quick, George!" shouted Paul, "Shoot its head with sulphur!!!!"  
And so George put the gun to the monsters head and shot sulphur full blast. The monster screamed as all the gasoline turned to liquid, and what was once a monster, flowed slowly down the grid. The other three ran up to congratulate George, and the news cameras had filmed the entire thing. John made sure they edited the film so that it made the Beatles look like the biggest heroes in the entire world. They soon rebuilt Google, and all the other fractions of the internet that had gone missing, and the Beatles were each given a medal and millions of dollars for solving a problem that they had created in the first place.  
The End.


End file.
